The Blaze: Sanity Is Not Always on the Menu

I actually remember citing Glenn Beck’s website, The Blaze, a while back because, curiously enough, they had the best analysis of one of Andrew Breitbart’s scams (unfortunately, the links to video evidence no longer work). Ah, but it is Glenn Beck’s website, after all, so we can’t expect the tin-foil hat brigade to be entirely silent.

This week, you may recall, was the 70th anniversary of the bombing of Pearl Harbor by the Japanese. It got less hype than I would have expected—it wasn’t until I was chatting with one of my students before my 11:00 a.m. class that I even realized what day it was. Curious, really… as Americans, we’re good at remembering our defeats (Alamo, anyone?). Anyway, apparently I wasn’t the only one who sort of forgot that Wednesday wasn’t just Wednesday.

At Sidwell Friends School, the chichi private school attended by Sasha and Malia Obama, the lunch menu that day included the following:

Asian Mushroom Soup

Oriental Noodle Salad

Classic Spinach Salad

Teriyaki Marinated Chicken Strips [the virulently un-American repast pictured above]

Szechuan Tofu & Veggies

Garlic Roasted Edamame

Vegetable Fried Rice

Fortune Cookies

O.M.G. It’s Arma-freaking-geddon. Or so our friends at The Blaze would have us believe. Some pseudo-journalist named Eddie Scarry sniffs, “It’s obviously not Sasha and Malia Obama‘s fault but Sidwell Friends School, the private school they attend in Washington, is serving Japanese food on Wednesday–Pearl Harbor Day.” After listing the menu, he pulls out the big guns for his big boffo conclusion, which reads, in its entirety, “Up until 9/11, the attack on Pearl Harbor in Hawaii by the Japanese in 1941 was the bloodiest day in U.S history.”

Anyone else find something a little flawed in this story? I mean, apart from the fact that Antietam was nearly ten times worse than Pearl Harbor in terms of casualties? Like the fact that the “Japanese” cuisine that’s so horrible to serve is mostly Chinese, for example? Most of the items on that menu are either generically Asian or specifically not Japanese. The exceptions would be the edamame and the teriyaki: but neither of them is Japanese-specific. Edamame is more Japanese than anything else, but is also used in Chinese and indeed in Hawaiian cooking. To call teriyaki intrinsically Japanese at this point is the equivalent of insisting that hot dogs are German.

Even if we grant the edamame and teriyaki as Japanese, however, that leaves the tofu (Sezchuan: inherently Chinese) and the fried rice and fortune cookie (both Chinese-American). Most “Oriental” salads have more in common with Chinese (or Thai or Vietnamese) rather than Japanese traditions. I do know it requires a 6th-grade education to know this, but perhaps someone might mention to the crack staff at the Blaze that the Chinese were the good guys during WWII. Not all Asians are the same, Eddie.

The leftie-leaning blogosphere (here are Gawker, DeathandTaxesMag and DCJunkies, for example) has been having a good time with this (ahem!) story, largely because it demonstrates so clearly that the Blazes of the world will say anything to try to denigrate Mr. Obama. Well, of course, they’re actually too chicken shit coy to say something offensive; rather, in their craven smarminess, they insinuate it. The ploy is transparently stupid, complete with the snarky admission that the girls aren’t really responsible for the menu at the school they attend. (Curiously enough, the parent of a student at the school does appear to be culpable in their eyes.)

It will come as no surprise that the intellectual giants who read the Blaze rose quickly to the bait. Duffer319 opines, “this is sad. leave it up to Obama” [I kept the original capitalization just for you, Gentle Reader.] ReaganThatcherChurchill (could I make this shit up?) proclaims “This is Meechelle’s Childhood Obesity Program. She wants kids starving while trying to use chopsticks.” PhilipZhao chimes in, “Under Obama, Americans will have to forget Alamo, forget Pearl Harbor and forget 9/11.” But it’s some cretinous yahoo who goes by SeeJaneMom who really gets to the point, calling Sasha and Malia “smugly a$s-ed First Rug Rats.” How dare those girls… um… whatever they did?

Not everyone who commented is a moron, however. There’s some sage commentary by FidelCashFlo44: “Pearl Harbor was almost a century ago. The Japanese are our allies. The menu is mostly Chinese food. You’re upset about.. a lunch menu. How insecure about your patriotism could you possibly be?” Charlots adds, “How is eating asian food going to somehow dissolve our identity as Americans. Do you eat Chinese or Japanese food? You sound like an idiot.”

The clincher, however, comes from WarrenFl:

Oh, Please.

Glancing at the school lunch calendar for the local Hillsborough County elementary schools, I see our students were served Teriyaki Chicken Rice Bowl, Stir Fry Vegetables, and Pineapple Tidbits. (Secondary students had Orange Pineapple Fruit Slushi instead of the Tidbits.)

There was no public outcry here in Tampa, Florida–and I don’t recall seeing any public outcry in years past. In fact, there was no public outcry anywhere in the country this year.

Sure enough, here’s the evidence. But gloriosky, that would mean there really isn’t a story there.

Let’s review the bidding, shall we?

• The Sidwell Friends School contracts out its meal services, and, by unhappy coincidence, that service scheduled Asian food on the anniversary of Pearl Harbor.

• A different contractor printed the menus to say “Pearl Harbor Day.”

• Most of the food in question is either generically Asian or specifically Chinese.

• None of the food is inherently Japanese.

• The Chinese were our allies in World War II; the Japanese are among our staunchest allies now.

• No parent, including the POTUS, has any say over the menu at Sidwell Friends.

• Other school systems served essentially the same thing without as much as a murmur.

• Speaking of menus, some people seriously need a little more bran in their diet.

None of this is to excuse a screw-up: the teriyaki could have waited another day, methinks. But this sort of mountains-out-of-molehills mentality is—consummation devoutly to be wished—going to be perceived eventually as the desperate, despicable, and often racist crap it truly is. May that day come sooner rather than later.

The Raised Fist and the Flying Flag

There’s a high school football story that’s getting a lot of attention of late. Facing Blue Hills in the 4A state championship game in Massachusetts (I refuse to call it the “Super Bowl”) this week, Cathedral High quarterback Matt Owens made what appeared to be a game-winning, or at least lead-changing, 56-yard run. But just inside the Blue Hills 25-yardline, with the ball tucked under his right arm, he raised his left hand over his head, taking two strides that way before finishing his jaunt into the endzone.

His little mini-demonstration, however, was enough to draw a penalty for taunting, nullifying the touchdown. The ball was placed at the spot of the foul; Owens threw an interception on the next play, and Cathedral never scored again, losing 16-12. Owens’s coach and father all-too-predictably whined.

Here’s the coach, Duane Sigsbury:

In the game being played, we won the game. Give Blue Hills a lot of credit. They are a great football team, but we deserve better. The game got taken away from us. If you’re going to take a game away from a kid being excited because he just made the play of his life, shame on you.

And here’s the father, Kenneth Owens:

He raised his hand because he knew was going to the pinnacle. There was nothing dishonorable about the play. There was no doubt it was a touchdown. He gets 20 yards in—and he's not thinking about the rule—and he just raised his hand. He handed the ball to the referee. He didn't spike it. He goes to a Catholic school where they are taught that their God is in the sky. So I know when he raised his hand, he was thanking his Lord for what happened to him today. Football is a team sport. There's lot of kids that are hurting today.

Assigner of officials Joe Cacciatore insisted that:

It’s tough, but the official absolutely made the right call according to the letter of the law. It says it right there in the rules that any attempt to draw attention to yourself, whether it is pointing the finger, raising a fist or anything like that, is a penalty. We’ve been instructed to call it when it happens, it’s zero tolerance now.

Don’t come to me looking for support for zero tolerance policies in general. But you know what? Sometimes they’re appropriate. Don’t tell that to sniveling sportswriters, like MSNBC’s Rick Chandler, however:

File this along with the first graders suspended for bringing a plastic knife to school to spread butter. Where’s our zero tolerance for blundering idiots? Taking common sense and individual judgement [sic.] out of the equation is never a good idea. And besides, if the player was actually praising God as his father claimed, he wasn’t calling attention to himself, now was he?

Where to begin? Let’s start here: it doesn’t matter whether the young man intended anything “dishonorable”; it matters what he did. Was he taunting? Not literally, perhaps, but the rule is pretty specific and pretty clear; it has been a point of emphasis among officiating crews all year, and players were specifically reminded of the rule immediately before the game. Moreover, while I’m not a mind-reader, I do make my living in part by relating gestural patterns to intentions. Young Owens may not have been intentionally taunting, but he sure as hell wasn’t praising God. One looks skyward to do that; Owens didn’t. One points with one’s index finger to God; Owens had a clenched fist. (One might also hope that there are more important things on God’s agenda than intervening in interscholastic athletic competitions.) Matt Owens was celebrating; end of discussion. Is that the same as taunting? It is according to the rulebook if it happens while the play is still underway. (Predictably, of course, only 14% of those responding to an online poll on the Boston Herald site agree with the call.)

Is it a stupid rule? Probably. I do understand the desire to curtail the narcissistic displays that have filtered down from the pros to the high school game. All that’s needed to cut that crap out, of course, is for television networks to cut away from the prima donna moments the way they used to do… and the way they agreed, for example, not to show the idiots who run onto a baseball field. Once pros don’t get airtime for being egocentric buffoons, the emphasis on maturity will find its way into the college and prep games, just as the puerile posturing has done for the past generation. Of course, that won’t happen, because television executives have the minds of 12-year-old boys. Still, there’s a difference between a spontaneous exuberance on the one hand and calculated, vainglorious indulgence on the other. Whereas the recent rule change helps referees in the sense that they no longer need to determine intent (just as a player accidentally grabbing a facemask will still get a personal foul call), it does allow a little less discretion.

Would I have called the penalty had I been that referee? Yes, although not making the call would also be defensible. Rules are rules, and this one doesn’t go away because some kid just made a great run. Indeed, it’s more important then than ever. But there’s a more significant point here.

A long time ago, I went to a Little League baseball game. My cousin Dick, two years older than I, was coaching, and his young son was on the team. The players were probably eight or nine years old. One of Dick’s young charges was called out on strikes. Returning to the bench, the boy complained that the pitch was really a ball. He was right: the pitch was outside and probably high, as well. Dick said, simply, “if you’ve got two strikes on you, and a pitch is close enough that the umpire might call it a strike, swing. We’ve talked about this.” And he patted the kid on the back and sent him out to play defense.

Dick’s wisdom in that moment has stuck with me for over 20 years. If you don’t want the officials to decide the game, don’t let them. Swing at close pitches with two strikes. Keep your stupid arm down when you’re about to score the go-ahead touchdown in the state championship game. Don’t let the referee make a judgment call against you when there’s no reason in the world not to obey the rules. Score the touchdown, then celebrate. Eight-year-old kids can wrap their heads around this concept. So can 18-year-olds, if we insist on it.

The referee, as far as I’m concerned, is blameless. Owens the younger did something dumb, but he’s a kid. I’m perfectly willing to believe he intended no disrespect to his opponents, but that of course doesn’t really change anything. Owens the elder, on the other hand, is an ignoramus. Your kid made a mistake. Stand by him. But don’t give us this line of crap about praising God. The penalty against your son was reasonable if not right. Shut up.

The biggest jackass, of course, is the coach. You’ve still got a chance to win this game if you keep your head. So, what are you going to call? Hint: maybe you don’t have your “visibly upset” quarterback throw the ball on a 1st down play when your line just opened a hole I could have run through for good yardage. You’re not only a petulant, unsportsmanlike ass, you’re also a moron. Shut up.

As for Rick Chandler: he, no doubt, gets paid to say snarky things on the internet. He is uncritical, unthinking, and unable to separate real justice from B-movie plots. He wants to know where is the zero tolerance policy for “blundering idiots.” Right here. Bye, Rick.

More Incompetence in SAT-Land, But This One's Not All on Them

As an educator at the post-secondary level, I have deeply ambivalent feelings about standardized testing. The teach-to-the-test mentality engendered by high-stakes exams like the fetishistic stupidity propagated in my adopted state of Texas, for example, is as antithetical to real education as it is possible to be. There also are, or at least have been, serious concerns about cultural bias. Still, I won’t pretend that I don’t look pretty carefully at ACT and SAT scores when evaluating prospective students for admission into our program or scholarships.

This is a function of two things. First, there is the wide disparity between schools and their populations—being at the top of a weak class might be better or worse than being in the middle of a strong one. It’s useful to have some means of comparing such students.

Second, most recommendations written by high school teachers and administrators are utterly useless. I do understand that writing an effective, accurate recommendation takes time; I’ve written a fair number of them, after all. But in my time as coordinator of Theatre Day (that’s our tri-annual on-campus recruitment event) I’ve read recs that are a single sentence long, that are incoherent and/or ungrammatical, that praise a student in the bottom 20% of her class for excelling in the classroom (without any explanation why the little darling consistently gets C’s and D’s, including in that teacher’s classes), that talk more about the student’s parents than about him. One teacher in Dallas obviously has a template singing the praises of some generic student; she just swaps out one student name for another and sends it along. (We once had two students at the same Theatre Day with recs from her. The letters were identical except for the students’ names and the gender-specific pronouns.)

Standardized test scores aren’t the only criterion by which to measure a student’s academic skills, of course. Grades (and class rank relative to class size) count a lot; if we happen to get a well-crafted, individualized, recommendation that actually gives us insight into the student, that’s incredibly helpful. The résumé counts: both how it’s structured and what it contains. If you want to be a designer and your layout is cluttered, unimaginative, and unattractive, you’ve got some work to do. If you want to be an actor, your teacher can talk about how wonderful you are all she wants, but if you’ve never played anything but Chorus in a musical or Third Spear-Carrier from the Left, she’s really not all that impressed with your work.

Nor do minor differences in scores matter. A 550 and a 560 in Critical Reading are, for our purposes, identical. A 440 and a 650 aren’t. If you’re smart and can really handle the language, it doesn’t matter if your acting skills are marginal: a). you’re teachable and b). there are plenty of non-acting jobs in theatre (mine, for instance). On the other hand, you may audition well with carefully-chosen pieces, but if we’re not reasonably certain you can handle the work of a freshman-level Play Analysis course, we’re not going to invest our limited scholarship money on you.

Good scores matter, in other words. And whereas a fair number of high school seniors don’t seem to comprehend much else, they do get that much. All of which means there’s a lot of pressure to perform well. For those with more money than brains or morality, that means an increased temptation to cheat: specifically, to hire a similarly immoral, but intelligent, surrogate to take the test in your stead. And that is what happened, repeatedly, in an upscale suburban area of Long Island over at least a three-year period.

The New York Times reports that some 20 people have been arrested over the past two months for being at one or the other end of such transactions: either paying someone to take the exam or accepting payment to impersonate someone else in order to take the test. The group faces felony charges of scheming to defraud, as well as misdemeanor charges of falsifying business records and criminal impersonation.

The victims here are of two kinds: the middling but honest students whose chances of getting entrance to the university of their choice or receive a scholarship to do so have been compromised by a competition that cheats, and (now) every honest and gifted kid in the area, whose own good scores, the product of native intelligence and hard work, are now (alas, quite reasonably) viewed as suspect.

There are two problems here. One is that the College Board/Educational Testing Service folks (who administer the SAT), in particular, have been more than somewhat less than diligent in preventing or prosecuting cheating. An earlier NYT article quotes Bernard Kaplan, principal of Great Neck North High School, lambasting the administrators of the SAT: “The procedures E.T.S. uses to give the test are grossly inadequate in terms of security. Furthermore, E.T.S.’s response when the inevitable cheating occurs is grossly inadequate. Very simply, E.T.S. has made it very easy to cheat, very difficult to get caught.” Mr. Kaplan adds:

It is ridiculously easy to take the test for someone else. That’s why when E.T.S. says this kind of impersonation is a rare occurrence, you just have to laugh. How would they know? All they can say is they are unaware of a large number of impersonations. I’m sure, that’s true. They are most assuredly unaware.

OK, you know how this blog consistently reams high school principals and school superintendents? Credit where it’s due: Mr. Kaplan seems to be the exception that proves the rule. It was his initial investigation that led to the arrests: “I think it’s [cheating] widespread across the country,” he said Tuesday. “We were the school that stood up to it.” And to say that the security has been lax with respect to ensuring that test-takers are who they claim to be is sort of like saying that NBA power forwards tend to be large men. [Side note: sign off on the damned agreement and play ball!]

After all, Samuel Eshaghoff is accused of impersonating six different students, including a girl to take the SAT for them at $3500 a pop, earning scores up to the 97th percentile. (I guess it wouldn’t have been worth it for me to hire him, as I did better than that on my own.) And, write the Times’s Jenny Anderson and Winnie Hu, “Currently, if a score is suspect, E.T.S. investigates. If cheating is uncovered, the score is canceled and the student is permitted to get a refund and take the test again. Neither the student’s high school nor any college is notified.” Seriously? No penalty at all?

Here’s the College Board’s attitude:

You got sick and couldn’t make the test? Sorry, no refund. Need to change the date of your test more than two weeks in advance? Well, OK, but it’ll cost you $25. Oh, you’re an immoral, self-entitled little weasel who thinks rules are for other people? Sorry, sir/madam, we thought you might be an honest kid with a legitimate excuse. Of course you can have a refund. Of course we won’t notify anyone who might be interested in whether you’ve already proven that you have no intention of actually learning anything at their academic institution. Would you like us to give you the names of a few really smart, dishonest people whom we’re far too stupid to catch if they impersonate you next time?

Not being a lawyer, I don’t know whether this qualifies as “criminal negligence” according to our legal system. But in a just universe, the cretinous yahoos at the CB/ETS who decided on this policy would lose their jobs, have “unethical moron” branded into their foreheads, and be publicly pilloried. Preferably literally.

Still, the fact that everyone in the ETS hierarchy seems to be terminally incompetent does not absolve the little urchins from taking responsibility for their actions. The recent economic meltdown may have been facilitated by de-regulation, but it was caused by specific immoral, greedy wheeler-dealers. Whether what these students did was criminal may be up for debate (I can’t imagine that there’s a legitimate legal argument there, but Dickens’s Mr. Bumble is, alas, too often correct in his assertion that “the law is an ass”). If not, every college that admitted one of these lying little bastards based on false information should immediately expel those students and sue the ETS. Actually, they should do that, anyway.

The defendants’ lawyers are paid to defend their clients, and they should do so as vigorously as they can. They are not, however, entitled to spew forth such rubbish as this from Gerald McCloskey: “My feeling is that it should be handled administratively by the College Board and the school board, not criminally, especially when the county is experiencing budget issues and resources are limited to begin with.” How noble of him to be so concerned with the county’s fiscal restraints. Translation: “My client is guilty as sin. Obfuscate!” Or Melvin Roth: “I think this is overkill for this kind of thing.” Yes, stealing is only stealing when someone other than Mr. Roth’s client does it. These guys are why there are lawyer jokes.

I strongly suspect that the ETS’s estimate of perhaps 150 cases of cheating a year is off by a factor of 100 or so. So it’s up to people like me to make sure no one gets a college diploma without earning one. Time to go to work…

Walter Vance and the Expansiveness of Culpability

Want to know what’s wrong with America? Two words: Walter Vance. No, not the man himself, who was apparently a lovely person. No, it was the manner of Mr. Vance’s death in the early hours of Friday morning that ought to send shivers up our collective spines.

Mr. Vance, a pharmacist in Logan County, WV, was shopping for some Christmas decorations for his drug store shortly after midnight, i.e. at the very beginning of “Black Friday,” when he collapsed onto the floor of a Target store in South Charleston. And then… nothing.

Multiple reports suggest that shoppers and employees alike paid no attention, even stepping over him as he struggled for his life. Finally, a nurse and a paramedic who happened to be shopping in the store came to his aid. 911 was called, but Mr. Vance died at the hospital. Frankly, he may not have made it, anyway. He had a history of heart trouble, and, in his widow’s words, “I think it was time for him to go. The Lord called him home.”

But here’s the point: It doesn’t matter. A man needed help, and the overwhelming majority of people who were in position to offer it, even to the extent of comforting a dying man, did precisely bupkes. There was a sale on, after all. Gotta get that crappy over-priced toy or the tacky outfit for a couple bucks less than normal. “Sorry, old man. Geez, would you get the hell out of the way. You’re dying? You think that’s an excuse? Get out of the damned aisle!”

With the exception of the two professionals who did what they could (another report suggests as many as six nurses offered aid), and the woman who apparently fished Vance’s cell phone out of his pocket to call his wife, everyone else in that building deserves coal in their stocking this year: not enough to heat their home with, however. Seriously, how many people don’t have cell phones with which to call 911? How many of the phoneless don’t have a voice with which to demand that someone else make that call? How many of us are really so important that we can’t spare a few words of comfort for a fellow traveler in distress?

There are, apparently, lots of eye-witness reports about other people’s inhumanity. But… uh… if you were there to see it, what did you do to help? Not much, I’d be willing to bet. True, once there’s someone who knows what s/he’s doing on the scene, it’s better to stay out of the way. But stepping over a prostrate body to get to the great mark-downs on Chia Pets doesn’t qualify as ethical behavior.

Target employees told television station WSAZ that “company policy” forbids them from offering physical assistance. (Interestingly, that detail is omitted from the updated written story on the station’s website, but the broadcast story includes it.) This leaves us with two alternatives: either the employees are lying to cover up their own inadequacies as human beings, or there really is such a policy.

It terrifies me that I believe the latter. That sounds exactly like the kind of inanity cooked up by the litigation-shy and utterly amoral jackals that run all too many corporations. Still, that doesn’t let the employees off the hook. A man is dying and you don’t help because you might lose your barely-above-minimum-wage (if that) job at a store that insists you work the graveyard shift on Black Friday because they’ve got to unload their stock of crap that will actually be cheaper in a couple of weeks? Really? That’s what you’re going to tell St. Peter at the Pearly Gates?

Mr. Vance’s friend and colleague Sue Compton sums the whole business up pretty well: “Where is the good Samaritan side of people? How could you not notice someone was in trouble? I just don’t understand if people didn’t help, what their reason was, other than greed because of a sale.”

Christmas in America. Bah, humbug.

Flying While Islamic Is the New Driving While Black

One of the sadder legacies of 9/11 is the legitimization of cowardice in the name of prudence. True, both political parties are trying to out-macho each other with respect to foreign policy, but when it comes down to real, day-to-day existence, Americans behave like the schoolyard bully confronted with an antagonist who doesn’t just meekly hand over his lunch money.

We’ll drive way too fast for the conditions, even after having one beer too many. We’ll eat crappy “food” with levels of saturated fat, sodium, and sugar so high that just talking about them can cause heart attacks. We’ll swagger around talking about how tough we are because “we” managed to capture or kill the likes of Saddam Hussein or Osama bin Laden.

But ask us to get on a plane that might also be carrying someone named Mohammed or Abdul, and we’ll cheerfully relinquish all our Constitutional rights and meekly slink into the corner with our proverbial tail between our legs while some idiot with a TSA (which, contrary to popular opinion, does not, in fact, stand for “Terminally Stupid and Arrogant”) badge ostentatiously goes through the motions of “protecting the public.” The agency does this by invading our privacy, fondling us, proclaiming our toothpaste a potential weapon, and generally doing everything possible to instill a feeling of Exceeding Great Trepidation.

Trouble is, it’s all a charade. The system itself acknowledges that all the shoelessness and shampoo confiscations don’t mean anything: what else is a no-fly list, or a random (or not-so-random) search at the gate if not a tacit admission that any serious terrorist with an IQ above room temperature can get past the security screening without breaking a sweat? I’ve been saying this for years, of course. Here’s me in 2005:

The idea that someone who can pass through security can still remain a threat is in fact an admission that the security screenings don't work except as a cosmetic deterrent. It is difficult to go a month without the news that some test of security at some airport has demonstrated conclusively that the average TSA screener lacks the training, the intelligence, or the vigilance to actually thwart a real threat. We'd be better off hiring out of Central Casting: at least they'd look like they might be able to stop a terrorist. Of course, news reports that yet another fake bomb made it through security at a major American airport are slowly gravitating towards the back of the newspaper, because it no longer shocks us that airport security is intrusive and demeaning, but completely ineffective.

But we continue, as a nation, to pretend that the false security offered by TSA is “worth it” somehow. It is not.

Of course, our collective cravenness is really a manifestation of xenophobia more than anything else. Homeland Security and all its various permutations exist for the sole reason of feeding the populace’s quaking terror at The Other. Oh, sure, they’ll annoy the rest of us—virtually anyone who has travelled very much at all will have been subjected to some form of humiliation to distract the agents from what a pathetic job they have re-affirm the security of the nation. But it’s the spectre of actually sharing an airplane with (gasp!) a Muslim that can be counted on to legitimize the most outrageous over-reach of authority.

I remember flying home from a conference in New York several years ago. As it happened, I was seated immediately behind two men who clearly fit the profile of a “terrorist,” at least as conjured up in the fevered imaginings of a TSA agent: young, obviously middle-Eastern, male. One was bearded; the other had a thick mustache. I don’t recall their names, but they were stereotypically Arab: Ali and Farooq, or something like that. They were laughing about the difficulties they’d had in passing through security, based solely on the way they look. And, hearing them speak, I can assure you that the fear and trembling of the security folks was entirely visual: two more readily identifiable New York accents would be difficult to imagine.

But the latest victims of TSA over-reaction weren’t New Yorkers. They were students from the United Arab Emirates who were removed from a Charlotte-to-Washington flight and questioned for nearly five hours, embarrassing them (despite the fact that they had clearly not done anything to deserve this treatment) and—of course—inconveniencing every other passenger on that flight, not to mention the family, friends, and business associates of everyone who should have been in DC in time for dinner but didn’t arrive until close to midnight. And for what?

Well, according to WSOC-TV, U.S. Airways is calling it simply a “security issue” that led to the students’ being led from the plane and all their bags being re-screened. (Again, how about we screen them right the first time?) The story says that “passengers reported they heard the group talking about airplanes and the military while on board. Sources said that's when some passengers reported them.” It’s unclear exactly who initiated the process of removing the UAE students, but it appears to have been the airline, whose employees are perfectly well trained to distribute tiny packets of pretzels, but perhaps not to judge the severity or likelihood of a potential terrorist threat. Forgive me if I don’t choose to live my life based on the prognostications of the most wild-eyed, xenophobic paranoid in the room.

I do understand that a student named Yaqoob Al-Shamsi is probably a higher risk than a grandmother named Cindy Robinson would be. But there are literally hundreds of millions of Muslims around the world who pose precisely zero threat. A little acknowledgment of that would not come amiss. What is troubling here is that the Islamophobia of the more ignorant members of society will eventually create a self-fulfilling prophecy. This seems to be the lesson of Guantánamo, which has apparently more than once transformed petty nuisances into card-carrying Bad Guys. And if we keep down the present path, the next Hadef Al-Dhaheri won’t simply be upset that “they treated us different than the others”; he’ll want to do something about it. It’s a delicate balancing act, and we need someone with a little more sophistication in charge of the operation.

Teenager Reveals Brownback's Real (Lack of) Character

It has become something of a specialty of this blog to highlight stories involving controversies with no good guys. This is another one. Almost.

Attending a Kansas Youth in Government event in Topeka this week, registered Democrat Emma Sullivan (pictured here), a senior at Shawnee Mission East High School, tweeted “Just made mean comments at gov brownback and told him he sucked, in person #heblowsalot.”

Had she actually engaged in the conduct she describes, one could reasonably criticize her for vulgarity but, considering what a disaster Governor Sam Brownback is for the citizens of my former state, not for inaccuracy. He does indeed suck. She hadn’t actually made those comments, of course, but she’s 18. There are two types of people who claim to have never engaged in a little adolescent braggadocio: those who aren’t yet adolescent, and liars.

Moreover, her Twitter account has (well, had) only a few dozen followers. So what’s the problem, right? Ah, Gentle Reader, you’re forgetting the Twin Towers of contemporary GOP politics: paranoia and hubris. What happened, you ask? Well, according to the Wichita Eagle,

... Brownback’s office watches Twitter for comments about him. Brownback spokeswoman Sherriene Jones-Sontag told the event organizers about the comment, “so that they were aware what their students were saying in regards to the governor’s appearance…. We monitor social media so we can see what Kansans are thinking and saying about the governor and his policies…. We just felt it was appropriate for the organizers to be aware … because of what was said in the tweet.”

OK, so it’s perfectly reasonable that the governor’s staff monitors the ‘Net for commentary on his performance. But to call up event organizers to complain about what a high school kid says to a few friends on Twitter suggests a level of perceived entitlement that is staggering even by the lofty standards of Republican politicians. One might have hoped that the governor’s staff might have something more constructive to do. Engaging in this kind of petty strutting might, after all, suggest to those of a cynical disposition that Gov. Brownback is more interested in throwing his weight around than in actually listening to his constituents. Oh, yeah, that’s right: he is more concerned with suppressing dissent than with responding to Kansans’ concerns. Sorry.

Still, the pomposity and arrogance of the terminally officious Ms. Jones-Sontag would have had no real-world effects had not those event organizers capitulated rather than, as they should have done, telling the pushy politico to take a long walk on a short pier. But they’re craven idiots, so they contacted the principal at Shawnee Mission East. They needn’t have bothered, of course. Turns out another Brownback minion, scheduling secretary Niomi Burget, had already e-mailed a screenshot of Sullivan’s tweet to the SME Youth in Government sponsor, sniveling, “I don’t know if this was someone with your group, but thought if it was, you might want it brought to your attention.” Really? Why? And while we’re on the subject, what the hell business is it of the scheduling secretary? And does it really take two different staffers to whinge that a post-adolescent has the audacity to say something unkind about your sorry-ass boss?

Here’s the thing. For the past seven years, I administered a One-Act Play Festival which brought as many as 400 or more high school students to our campus each year. During that time, I contacted teachers about student behavior exactly twice: once when a group of students were disruptive during another school’s production, once when a school pretty well vandalized one of our dressing rooms. I didn’t call the principal; I talked to the responsible teacher directly. More to the point, I’m willing to bet that some kid tweeted something unkind about our facility, our people, whatever. But you know what? I don’t care. I’m a grown-up. I have more important things to worry about. Apparently the Governor of Kansas isn’t thus encumbered with actual responsibilities, however.

Once again, of course, we’re at another crossroads. All that had to happen for this not to be an embarrassment for all concerned would be for the high school officials to respond to the political interference with a politer version of the following: “We’ll handle it. Fuck off.” But that would pre-suppose a high school principal somewhere in the country who isn’t a gutless moron. Karl Krawitz is not such an exception to the rule: far from it, in fact. He complained that he was expected to do his damned job he had to do damage control, and insisted that Sullivan write apologetic letters to everyone this side of the Easter Bunny. “Censorship” isn’t quite the right word, but “repressive self-importance” sure seems apt.

Ultimately, it’s difficult to portray Sullivan as a hero: her tweet was inappropriate, after all, although I do give her credit for not bowing to pressure to remove it from her account, and she appears to be considering not writing those apologies. Still, she’s not guilty of anything in particular, either. She’s 18, and sometimes she acts it. Stop the presses!

On the other hand, the adults in this story—Jones-Sontag, Burget, Krawitz—all come off as boorish, self-entitled, authoritarian jackasses. It’s unclear whether Gov. Brownback didn't know what his staff was up to (one set of problems) or if he endorsed their pretentious meddling (a different set of problems). Any way you slice it, though, the lesson learned by Ms. Sullivan and all the other high school students in the state had a lot more to do with the way the political system really works than anything the Youth in Government folks ever offered.

[By the way, I just found a good post on the subject on that noted left-wing rag, Forbes. Not bad, Alex Knapp!]

UPDATE (11/27 @ 8:15 pm): Ms. Sullivan has decided not to apologize, saying that she in fact isn't sorry, and that any letter suggesting that she was would be insincere. Now she's a hero.

Sorry: Patriotism Is Not Welcome Here

It has been too long since I posted here, and much has happened in the interim. I do want to talk about the #Occupy movement, both in theory and in practice, but that post will require more time than I have tonight, and I want to get something posted (among other things, I promised someone who included me on their blogroll that I’d post at least once a month… a promise I technically didn’t quite keep, as it is).

Anyway, one of the stories that attracted little attention amidst the horrific actions of police across the country and the antics of whoever happens to be the current GOP Flavor of the Month, is the follow-up to an incident I outlined a year and a half ago. Here was my take at the time:

In Morgan Hill, CA, a group of five boys wore American flag clothing—bandanas, shirts, shorts—and were told that such apparel was inappropriate. So far, it sounds like something from my youth: in those halcyon days, clothing featuring a flag motif was often worn by protesters against the Vietnam War, and, because such designs tended to be found on the seats of jeans, or in other places where the symbol might touch the ground or otherwise be defaced, we were forbidden to wear anything with an American flag. Now, of course, such apparel is considered patriotic.

Anyway, these guys show up at school wearing this stuff and the Head Moron Assistant Principal tells them they’ve got to take it off, go home, or face suspension. You see, it was Cinco de Mayo, and expressions of American patriotism were deemed insensitive to Hispanic students. OK, I’ll say this once: Give me a damned break.

A month or so later, the boys’ parents filed suit: their lawyer spelled out what they wanted: “‘We’re not seeking money damages, we are asking the court for an order that the school acted unconstitutionally by restricting the students first amendment rights. And we are also asking the court for an injunctive relief, indicating the school is forbidden from practicing those policies in the future,’ said Attorney William Becker.”

All things considered, that was a pretty reasonable demand, given the state of the American judicial system, in which suing people for the most insignificant of slights has become de rigeur.

Now comes word that the suit was dismissed by federal judge James Ware (yes, that would be the James Ware whose nomination to the Court of Appeals in 1997-98 was derailed by evidence that he is a serial liar. For the record, he was appointed to his current post by Bush I and subsequently nominated to the Court of Appeals by Clinton: he is, then, a non-partisan incompetent). The defendants—the school district and the (now former) Principal and (still, apparently) Assistant Principal—argued:

• that the claim against the district was banned by the 11th amendment

• that free speech rights don’t apply in this case because the school officials suspected the potential for “disruption”

• that the plaintiffs offered no evidence they were discriminated against

• that the school’s dress code provides “adequate notice of what attire is prohibited”

OK, I’m not a lawyer, so I look at what makes sense, not what legal precedent might be. The fact that “the Ninth Circuit has consistently held in California, because of the manner in which funds are dispersed to school districts by the state, school districts are agencies of the state for sovereign immunity purposes” tells me only that the Ninth Circuit may well have been home to some rather dim bulbs over the years.

More importantly, the whole “potential for disruption” argument is now, and frankly always has been, little more than an excuse for intellectual cowardice. It’s what gets controversial speakers uninvited from college campuses. It’s what justifies the worst excesses of “political correctness.” It’s what craven administrators, mayors, and police chiefs hide behind when they really, really, really want to censor speech (cf. the #Occupy folks) but know they have to circumvent that pesky First Amendment somehow.

Which brings us to the most colossally, stupendously, mind-meltingly inane part of Judge Ware’s cretinous decision:

Defendants have provided a non-discriminatory basis for asking Plaintiffs to remove their American flag attire. Defendants have put forth significant evidence demonstrating that Plaintiffs were asked to change clothes in order to protect their own safety. Plaintiffs have not offered any evidence demonstrating that students wearing the colors of the Mexican flag were targeted for violence. To the contrary, the undisputed evidence shows that Plaintiffs were the only students on campus whose safety was threatened that day, at least to the knowledge of Defendants. In addition, Defendant Rodriguez [the Assistant Principal] has testified that he did not see any students wearing the Mexican flag on their clothing during the day. He also testified that he did not see any students with Mexican flags displayed on their person until he saw photos in the newspaper in the days following Cinco de Mayo.

Ware therefore dismissed the “equal protection” argument. Please, someone, tell me that Ware is indeed the stupidest federal judge in the country, because if he isn’t, then all is lost. Let’s parse out what passes for argument here. Basically, it boils down to this:

“You have freedom of speech unless you do something completely inoffensive—as evidenced by the statement at the time that the students are free to wear American flag clothing any other day of the school year—that some over-sensitive jackass who disagrees with you might use as a pretense for violence. In that case, of course, it is not that student’s right to commit a felony that ought to be curtailed, but your 1st Amendment rights to free expression. Moreover, since the Assistant Principal can’t be expected to do his damned job and know what’s going on in the school, he can claim that your self-evident claim to unequal treatment doesn’t really hold because he didn’t see what everyone else in the school saw... and what appeared in the local media.” [I think he’s bucking for a job in the UC-Davis administration.]

Seriously, what would happen if the roles were reversed: if it were the Hispanic students who were prevented from expressing their ethnic pride on this trumped-up holiday little celebrated in their ancestral homeland because of the threat of violence from a gang of Anglo punks? How condescending would the “for your own protection” pabulum sound? How stupid would suppressing the inoffensive in order to pander to the potentially violent seem? How outraged would the left-leaning punditry (other than moi, bien sûr) be?

I have little doubt that the plaintiffs in this case are right little assholes, and quite possibly racists. But anyone who thinks Judge Ware would have ruled the same way had it been the “minority” students whose rights were being infringed is stupider than he is. And that’s saying rather a lot.

Stupidest Legislative “Money-Saving” Plan of the Month: The First Three Nominees

It’s true: I’ve been busy the last couple of weeks. Still, it surprises me that I apparently missed the memo announcing the contest for Stupidest Legislative “Money-Saving” Plan of the Month. Apparently there are some really cool prizes involved, as the contestants are lining up, each with a scheme a little more insane than the one before. Here are three contenders I found out about within about roughly a six-hour stretch a few days ago. (I really have been busy; that’s why I’m only now writing about it.) For the purposes of this contest, the Alabama town that demanded proof of American citizenship—indeed of Alabama citizenship—to get (and pay for) clean water, and the Let Women Die law that sailed through the US House are not eligible, as they are merely mean-spirited and depraved, and don’t even pretend to save money.

We still have some really good entrants, however:

Representing the great state of Kansas, we have the Topeka City Council’s decision to repeal the city ordinance banning domestic violence. Really. OK, so this isn’t quite as colossally cretinous as it might initially appear: this is really a petty and petulant jurisdictional dispute between the city and the county, neither of whom want to accept responsibility for misdemeanor cases (half of which involve domestic violence) because their respective budgets have been cut. So now the Shawnee County DA has in fact capitulated and agreed to do his freaking job prosecute such cases, clearly as a direct response to public outcry. This apparently includes re-visiting the cases of between 18 and 30 (sources differ) alleged criminals released because no one would take the case. Who’s right in the turf squabble? I. Don’t. Care. The council vote would be unconscionable and unsupportable under any circumstances.

Is it a coincidence that the 7-3 vote to de-criminalize such cases corresponds exactly to the ratio of men to women on the city council? I don’t know; I can’t find a record of who voted which way. But I’ll say this: I’m betting they weren’t going to de-criminalize the completely understandable crime of kicking idiot city councilmen squarely in the balls.

Next up: Camden County (Georgia) is contemplating a measure that would put two inmates—convicted of things like drug offences and theft—in each of three existing fire stations as a money-saving measure. What could go wrong, after all? Let’s see, we’re not only expecting professional firefighters to do their own highly risky jobs, but to “monitor” the inmates: a term I take to imply both supervision of their work and serving as guards. Put simply, the real firefighters would be under-trained to watch the inmates, who would not only be under-trained as firefighters, they’d also require constant scrutiny because, well, they’re inmates. The people of the area, no doubt, would be ever-so-happy to be suffering from the anxiety accompanying a fire, only to have a convicted thief wandering through their homes.

Stuart Sullivan, a firefighter, spoke to the Board of County Commissioners, urging them to drop the plan: “If you vote to bring these inmates into our working environment, you jeopardize not only the employees' well-being, but the safety of our citizens.” Well, duh. Seriously, Mr. Sullivan, when did coherent argument start becoming a legitimate way to influence government policy? True, the proposal is insulting to professional firefighters by suggesting they can be readily replaced both those Jack Marshall describes as “not just … barely-trained amateurs, but barely-trained amateurs who can’t be trusted to walk free in the community.” True, it unnecessarily endangers good citizens whose focus in a literally life-and-death situation is inherently distracted by supervisory responsibilities they shouldn’t have to perform. True, it serves to undermine the trust and camaraderie necessary for any such venture, and not for some legitimate ancillary benefit like civil rights: this isn’t eliminating DADT we’re talking about. But, Mr. Sullivan, these are county commissioners we’re talking about: you’d have a better chance of making your case to a collection of corn cobs.

After all, it might save a fair amount of money, although I’d be willing to bet that even the short-term savings are unlikely to approach, let alone equal, the $500K estimate that’s being tossed around: 20% of that would be a more plausible figure. But you can’t expect a county commissioner to have the mental capacity of a bottle of olive oil. Think I’m being too harsh? Here’s Commissioner Jimmy Starline (apparently his real name): “I've been told these inmates are very enthusiastic about being a firefighter. It's an opportunity to break that cycle. This is not like a chain gang. Life at a fire station could be a whole lot more pleasant than life in jail.” Oh, well, then. As long as the freaking prisoners like the idea, then it’s OK, right?

Finally, there’s Pinellas County, Florida, whose County Commissioners voted to stop fluoridating the water supply. You, Gentle Reader, might have been under the impression that this battle had been fought and won by the forces of science two generations ago. Ah, but the Tea Party crowd and their enablers (I’m looking at you, Rick Perry, Michele Bachmann, et al.) have successfully brought us to the point at which that which has long been accepted as scientifically proven is now up for grabs, not on the basis of new evidence, but based simply, in Isaac Asimov’s words, on “the false notion that democracy means ‘my ignorance is as good as your knowledge.’” I’m pretty sure gravity is next on the hit list for the tin-foil hat crowd.

Honestly, here’s some of the reporting of David DeCamp of the St. Petersburg Times:

Some speakers Tuesday compared it to Soviet and Nazi practices and warned of cancer, reduced IQ and deteriorating bones.

“Fluoride is a toxic substance,” said tea party activist Tony Caso of Palm Harbor. “This is all part of an agenda that's being pushed forth by the so-called globalists in our government and the world government to keep the people stupid so they don't realize what's going on.” [Note: it seems to be working.]

He added: “This is the U.S. of A, not the Soviet Socialist Republic.”

The fact that the medical and dental communities are unanimous in support of such programs means nothing to the self-appointed authorities, the Tea Partiers. Lunatics on the left and the right have been part of the American political system for as long as I can remember, and I suspect for a good while before that. Up until recently, however, the mainstream politicians and commentators kept the crazies in check. True, the anti-war crowd made life a little difficult for mainstream Democrats during the Vietnam War, but that was primarily because there was little difference in either the rhetoric or the policies of the two major parties at the time. Generally, the fringe elements of both parties have been recognized as precisely that: the fringe. That changed recently, though. The mainstream GOP loathed Obama with such a passion that they sold their soul to the Tea Party to gain a majority in the House of Representatives. The result is a pandering to the rampant anti-intellectualism of Glenn Beck, Sarah Palin, and similar shills.

The Democrats have their own populist movement, the #Occupy crowd, to deal with. But whereas there may be more of them than there are Tea Partiers, and those folks have far higher approval ratings than the Tea Party ever did—a 54-23% positive rating according to a poll just published in Time magazine—they will have far less impact on actual policy because they aren’t just a front for some left-wing equivalent of the Koch brothers or Dick Armey, and are therefore uninteresting to the pols who care far more about donors than about constituents.

Ultimately, what these stories show is an affirmation of legitimate uses of government. Punishing those who beat up women, preventing or extinguishing fires in the most efficient manner possible, providing at least base-line dental care that benefits all citizens: these are, it seems to me, undeniably good things, and appropriate uses of government resources. I bet it wouldn’t be difficult to find other available cuts, things far less self-evidently essential at the very least, in any of those jurisdictions. Or—God forbid!—there might even be additional revenue enhancements. But the country is long on stupid right now. There will be more idiotic ideas… and I’ll do what I can to give you the opportunity to laugh at them.

The really bad news: the month is still young.

Prejudice and Ignorance: The American Idiocracy

There are two kinds of polls about politics: the ones about which candidate we prefer and the ones about more fundamental underlying attitudes. The former are, at this point (relative to the 2012 election) somewhere south of useless. Want proof? Well, take a look at the Gallup poll taken on October 12-14, 2007: Hillary Clinton led Barack Obama by a 50-21 margin; Rudy Giuliani led Fred Thompson 32-18, with John McCain at 14%. Importantly, neither Clinton nor Giuliani (nor Thompson, for that matter) made any enormous gaffes that made them instantly less popular with either major donors or the electorate: no Howard Dean screech, for example. Their only problem was that they didn’t attract enough support when it counted as the other guy did. So I really don’t care who won what straw poll or who is October’s flavor of the month on the Republican side: things won’t get interesting until after Thanksgiving, at least, even if the mad rush to move the primary season earlier continues unabated.

The other kind of poll, however, always interests me in that it gives us a glimpse of who we are. If the polling sample is broad-based enough, and most of the prominent pollsters know what they’re doing in that regard, at least, then any specific incident that would affect the results would be known by everyone and could be factored into the analysis. In other words, our collective view of Muslims changed significantly the second week of September, 2001, but everyone knew why. Some individual’s view may have been changed by a more local incident a couple of weeks earlier or later, but that single re-evaluation wouldn’t affect the overall poll numbers much.

So, let’s look at two polls I read about this week. The first was actually taken this summer, but I hadn’t seen it until reading about it in a piece by David Kopel at the Volokh Conspiracy. A Gallup poll taken in June shows attitudes towards hypothetical candidates. Here’s the question:

Between now and the 2012 political conventions, there will be discussion about the qualifications of presidential candidates—their education, age, religion, race, and so on. If your party nominated a generally well-qualified person for president who happened to be [black, a woman, etc.], would you vote for that person?

Lydia Saad, who wrote up the results, seems most interested in whether people would vote for a Mormon: reasonable enough, given the fact that Mitt Romney is a front-runner for the GOP nomination. I confess that I’m a little more intrigued by the remarkably low numbers, even now, for gays/lesbians and atheists. True, the trend line for those groups is heading in the right direction, but that 49% wouldn’t support a well-qualified atheist candidate of their own party is kind of scary. Of course, there is a not insignificant contingent in the Republican party in particular which clings to a pseudo-Christian dogma—justifying prejudice in the name of the Bible, declaring a desire to help the poor as “socialist”—so one suspects those numbers are skewed. Unfortunately, I can’t find any further break-outs of that information, although Saad does provide some with respect to Mormons… more on that in a moment.

The linked pdf file (alas, I can’t seem to link to it directly) shows trend lines—atheists were opposed 18-77 in 1958, and are 49-49 now; blacks were opposed 37-53 in 1958, and are 94-5 now; gays/lesbians weren’t part of the discussion until 1978, when they were opposed 26-66 as compared to 67-32 today. The trends are interesting. If we look at the numbers in plus-minus terms (50-40 is +10, 30-70 is -40, and so on), we see a more or less steady increase in acceptability for some groups. Blacks, for example, are -16 in 1958, +25 in 1965, +46 in 1971, +66 in 1987, +89 today. Women are at -31 in 1937, +8 in 1955, +50 in 1975, +70 in 1987, and +87 today.

Not all the trends look that way, however. Whereas gays/lesbians were at -40 in 1978 and are at +35 today, there was a huge jump from 1983 (-35) to 1999 (+22) and actual back-sliding from then until 2007 (+15) before another surge to the present. Atheists made good progress from 1958 (-57) to 1983 (-9), but then stalled, making it to +1 in 1999 and actually losing that margin-of-error point since then.

Of course, there are also glitches caused by individual candidates: a Democrat asked about female or African-American candidates in the last election cycle or a Republican asked about a Mormon would have been forgiven for transposing the question from the general to the specific: would you vote for Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, or Mitt Romney if that person were nominated by your party? Hence the trend line for Mormons goes a little berserk four years ago. And, of course, the John Kennedy phenomenon with respect to Catholics causes its own set of ripples. Today, interestingly, although all of these groups tend to lean more to the Democrats than to the Republicans, there’s at least some chance that a woman (Michele Bachmann) or an African-American (Herman Cain) could be the GOP nominee, and of course Eric Cantor, who is Jewish, is likely to become a contender in years to come. We’ll see if people are lying, because, you know… they do, sometimes.

Anyway, revenons à nos moutons. Attitudes towards Mormons are broken out further than for other groups in the article. Unsurprisingly, increased education also leads to increased tolerance for the Other, however that Other is defined. Thus, college graduates are at +74, those with some college are at +59, those with no college are at only +35. Significantly, there seems to be little if any difference between men and women, or among age groups or geographical locations. Everything is either within the margin of error or pretty close to it. It might be worth mentioning that Catholics give Mormons a +64 vs. a +51 from “Protestants and other Christians” [whatever that means]. Then again, it might not.

I was intrigued, however, by the fact that Republicans are a little more open-minded towards Mormons than Democrats are. That wouldn’t have been what I predicted, but it makes sense when I think about it. First off, with two prominent Republicans—Romney and Jon Huntsman—both in Presidential bids, anyone who supports either, and they are the two most mainstream candidates, is reminded that maybe they could support a Mormon. Conversely, name a prominent Mormon Democrat. (Yes, I know, Harry Reid, but that connection isn't made very often.) Mormons tend to be Republicans (see, for example, this poll in which President Obama’s approval ratings are shown to be about 20 points lower, in good times and bad, among Mormons than among the general population). And, of course, the LDS Church has figured prominently in the campaign against gay marriage, dumping literally millions of dollars (directly and indirectly) and thousands of volunteer hours on Proposition 8 in California, for example: enough so that a New York Times headline says that “Mormons Tipped Scale in Ban on Gay Marriage.” That might not be enough to win them friends among Republicans, but it isn’t difficult for a Democrat to be rather more disinclined to support a Mormon after that bitter (if transient) defeat.

Anyway, bottom line: I don’t think Mitt Romney (or, rather more hypothetically, John Huntsman) would be hurt significantly by religion. Only 18% of Republicans and 19% of Independents show reluctance to vote for a Mormon, and one suspects those numbers will drop, just as the numbers for a host of other groups have dropped with greater visibility and knowledge: especially for the not terribly well educated, it’s easier to fear the unknown than to fear Mitt Romney.

Besides, a fair number of voters won’t know he’s Mormon, anyway. The ignorance of the American electorate is terrifying. There’s a statement virtually everyone will agree with, as precious few folks voted for the winner in both of the last two Presidential elections… presumably somebody did, but Democrats are even more convinced that George W. Bush was the worst President in American history than Republicans are that Barack Obama is.

But it’s probably even worse than you thought. A recent Pew Research poll reveals that nearly half of Americans and fully a third of Republicans can’t name, unprompted, a single GOP candidate for President. Only three—Romney (27%), Rick Perry (28%), and Michele Bachmann (15%)—reached double-digits in the general population. Even among Republicans (and Independents who lean Republican), only Perry and Romney were named by 1 in 5 respondents. I guess the good news is that the magical 10% mark was passed by all the candidates currently given any real chance to win the nomination: the two front-runners, Bachmann, Cain, Ron Paul, and Newt Gingrich (not that anyone currently considers Gingrich a legitimate contender for the nomination). All of which makes for a bad day for the likes of Rick Santorum, who could be named by only 4% of Republicans as even being a candidate; Jon Huntsman did only half that well, despite a well-publicized roll-out. Even more frighteningly, if you add up all the numbers, you get an average of less than one candidate recognition per respondent among the general population: all the numbers add up to exactly 100%, but that figure includes Chris Christie and Sarah Palin, both of whom have said they’re not in the race.

Think about that. 46% can’t name anyone. That means the remaining 54% average (if we drop Palin and Christie) average less than 1.8 apiece. Let’s say there’s 1 in 100 who are the same kind of political junkie that I am (and I’m not exactly a fanatic) and could name eight candidates (I’m kicking myself that I had to be reminded of Gary Johnson’s name). And let’s say that another 5% can name the two front-runners and the three others who have won a straw poll already. That leaves only 64 identifications to split among 48 people. In other words, if another 8% of the population can name only Perry, Romney and Bachmann, then we get this:

1% can name 8 candidates.

5% can name 5 candidates

8% can name 3 candidates

40% can name 1 candidate

46% can’t name any candidates

This strikes me as a reasonable breakdown, given the numbers we have to work with… which means that 86% of the American population can’t name more than a single Republican Presidential candidate. Wow.

Republicans, of course, do a little better—it’s their party’s candidates we’re talking about, after all. They came up with 132 identifications per 100 respondents, with “only” (shudder) 34% who couldn’t name anyone. That works out to exactly two identifications per Republican who could name a candidate. Again, figure 1% at 8, 5% at 5, and we’re still at only about 13% at 3, and another 13% at 2, leaving 34% at 1. In other words, roughly two-thirds of Republicans can’t name more than one GOP contender.

So before anyone in any of the candidates’ camps starts crowing about leading in this or that poll, or winning this or that straw poll, or scoring points in this or that debate, there’s this to consider: the American electorate’s ignorance of the field is mind-boggling in its scope. If they can’t even name a couple of options, how can they hope to know whose policies they like (or don’t)? The answer is obvious: they can’t. The manifold failures of the media are partially responsible for all this, of course, but, in the words of the great sage Pogo, we have met the enemy and he is us.

I have a fond hope that the situation may change by the time votes actually count for something in the primary season, or at least by the general election. I get that way sometimes… it’s probably indigestion.

Because the DOJ has nothing better to do...

One of the truisms of American politics is that no politician is as interested in libertarianism (civil or otherwise) as (s)he pretends to be. Otherwise they wouldn’t be interested in being part of the government, right? And I’m not talking here about the garden-variety Republican hypocrisy of claiming to want smaller government while sticking the elephant’s nose into health care decisions and underwriting certain forms of religious expression while seeking to prohibit others. Nor is this about the equally preposterous Democratic claims to personal liberties while pushing for a national ID card or cranking up the silliness required to board a flight. No, this is about the betrayal of what really are the tattered remains of core values in both parties.

Thus, the Crown Prince of Small Government, Ronald Reagan, not merely (almost) tripled the national debt, but did so largely by having federal spending reach as high as 23.5% of GDP (Jimmy Carter never reached 22%; wild-eyed spendthrift Obama in 2010: 23.8%). That’s also how Barack Obama’s Justice Department is being even more stupid than their predecessors with respect to medical marijuana.

I am not a lawyer, so I’m not going to try to interpret the intricacies of the law, but I’ve been told by a really smart man that I “know something and can read.” I know, if nothing else, that justifying the federal ban on medical marijuana, even when states allow it, based on the interstate commerce clause is insane. It was when I wrote about it in 2005, and it is today. Whether there are other legal grounds for upholding federal jurisdiction, I don’t know. But I do know that in a time of scarce resources, a program which alleviates pain for some of the citizenry, generates tax revenues, and would cost a bunch of money to shut down ought to stay around because of inertia if nothing else.

This is not the time to re-visit the old arguments about whether medical marijuana is a good idea or not. But it may be time for a reminder that proponents of states’ rights generally mean that Alabama ought to be able to discriminate against minorities despite the US Constitution, not that Californians ought to be allowed to have medical marijuana when that same Constitution (as read by anyone with an IQ above their shoe size) specifically tells the feds to butt out.

More importantly, the time is definitely ripe to look at the arguments being made in favor of this stupid and wasteful initiative. Here’s a good chunk of the announcement by Melinda Haag, the US Attorney for the Northern District of California.

More than 40 years ago our elected federal representatives determined that various substances have a high potential for abuse and no accepted medical use in the United States. Based on these findings, Congress passed laws making it unlawful for people in this country to manufacture, cultivate or distribute various drugs, including heroine, MDA, LSD, and marijuana, among others.

In other words, the fact that there now is an “accepted medical use” is irrelevant, at least until the Congress does something about it. I’d comment further, but I can’t improve on the wisdom of the great Mark Twain: “Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.”

Many in the marijuana industry have portrayed the Oct 2009 Department of Justice guidance as giving a free pass to any marijuana business that invokes state law or calls its customers patients. That was frankly never correct.

Precisely. If it is a violation of California law, prosecute it… or, rather, assist California in prosecuting it. But Californian authorities, not a US Attorney, get to decide what violates California law.

In the Northern District of California marijuana cultivators are converting our public lands and pristine forests into large-scale clandestine marijuana grow operations. They are cutting down trees and plants; they are diverting streams, polluting the water table, and the land with toxic pesticides. They are starting wildfires, bringing in undocumented workers from Mexico, some of whom may be the victims of human trafficking. Many of these workers who guard the grow operations do so with firearms, thereby endangering hikers who might unwittingly stumble in.

[And when the growers are through] they harvest their crops and leave behind literally tons of trash, unused pesticides, hundreds of miles of plastic piping, camping equipment and human waste…

Then maybe you ought to… you know… go after them for: unauthorized use of public lands, pollution, vandalism, littering, reckless endangerment, smuggling, immigration violations, hiring violations, weapons charges… and maybe, just maybe, you could just go ahead and do that without making a speech about it.

Even under California law, marijuana cultivation is supposed to be not for profit. What we are finding is that people are using the cover of medical marijuana to make extraordinary amounts of money, in short to engage in drug trafficking. And many of these drug trafficking operations are in plain sight. In many communities, like mine, you can't walk a mile without seeing multiple retail marijuana stores, sometimes surrounded by fences and patrolled by security guards. If you sit and watch for a moment, you see cars pulling over, seemingly young healthy people jumping out of the cars, running into the store, and emerging with paper bags full of marijuana.

Some of these operations allow their customers to smoke marijuana while on the premises. Presumably at least some of them get back into their cars and drive away impaired. There’s a reason for the security guards and fences; where there's marijuana there's money and lots of it. These places are prime targets for robberies and violence...

Again, prosecute, or help California to prosecute, these people. If they’re actually “drug trafficking,” arrest them. The fact that I think marijuana probably ought to be de-criminalized (at least) doesn’t change the fact that people are currently breaking the law and endangering other people. So do something about the real law-breakers. But don’t do this:

[Because of limited resources] I have decided to focus initially on stores that sell marijuana and allow people to smoke marijuana very close to schools, parks and other places where children learn and play.

Would someone please knock it off with this utterly phony concern for children? There are lots of things wrong in the lives of America’s kids, but being in the proximity of a medical marijuana dispensary doesn’t make the Top 100 list. I presume the California law authorizing medicinal use of marijuana says something about proximity to schools and parks. If it doesn’t (and an article in the not-exactly-leftist Wall Street Journal suggests precisely that), then you, Ms. Haag, are a moron of the first order. Even if it does, I shudder to think about what some over-zealous cop (there’s another kind?) will make of “other places where children learn and play.” This fuzzy-mindedness isn’t merely an example of perverse priorities, it veritably begs to be abused.

Last week we sent letters to the landlords and lien holders of these stores, putting them on notice that marijuana is being sold and used on their property in close proximity to children and that the operations must cease. I understand that there are people in California who believe that marijuana stores should be allowed to exist. But I trust these same people would all agree we don't need marijuana retail outlets across the street from playgrounds and schools and little league fields.

Actually, no, I wouldn’t agree, for the reasons just noted. And I sure as hell wouldn’t agree that landlords and lien holders ought to be threatened with prison sentences of up to 40 years. Those are goon tactics, throwing your weight around simply because you can. If someone is doing something really illegal, or really likely to undermine the safety and stability of a community, stop them. But unless your goal is to make the Obama administration look like right-wing caricatures of it, you need to stop with the absurd threats against those who have done nothing wrong. And that would include all the other stupid stuff your colleagues across the country are doing. Quoting the MSNBC article:

•In Colorado, which also allowed medical marijuana, the Treasury Department is requiring that banks close accounts of legal medical marijuana businesses.

•The IRS says dispensaries may not deduct standard business expenses such as payroll, security or rent. “The result will be closure of the most well regulated dispensaries and loss of millions of dollars in tax revenue for local governments,” the group stated.

•The Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives last month ruled that medical marijuana patients sanctioned by states cannot legally possess firearms.

Seriously, are you people insane? You can’t come up with a higher priority than hassling people who are obeying state laws, especially when you’ve pretty much indicated that you weren’t going to be doing anything drastic.

Ethan Nadelmann, executive director of the Drug Policy Alliance puts the situation this way: “Barack Obama is betraying promises made when he ran for president and turning his back on the sensible policies announced during his first year in office.” The extent to which Mr. Obama is personally responsible for this misguided policy initiative is unclear. That it reflects poorly on his administration is not.

Tennessee's State Bird Is Apparently the Homophobe (no offense intended to our avian friends)

DADT is gone and DOMA may follow, but no one will be surprised to learn that the country is still well-populated with homophobic idiots. Nor do I suspect that many will be shocked to hear that Tennessee has more than its share of this particular variety of vermin. But I confess that I was a little taken aback to encounter these two stories within about an hour of each other a couple of days ago.

The first story I read concerned a gay couple, Jerry Pittman Jr. and Dustin Lee, attacked as they arrived at a worship service by deacons of the Grace Fellowship Church in Fruitland, TN. (Seriously, what self-respecting violent anti-gay moron would live in a place called Fruitland?) Did I mention that the instigator was the minister, Jerry Pittman Sr.?

Having been assaulted by three deacons (including his uncle), the younger Pittman called the cops, for all the good that did. According to a story on the AddictingInfo site:

The attackers also verbally assaulted the couple continually with anti-gay verbiage which continued even after a Sheriff’s Deputy arrived on the scene. Bystanders and other congregants made no effort to stop the assault. For that matter, neither did the Deputy Sheriff. Once the barrage of punches ended, the Deputy refused to let the two victims press charges.

The young men eventually filed charges the next day. But the case gets weirder: one of the attackers (and yes, I’m calling him an attacker before “all the facts are in”) apparently filed charges of his own a few days later, claiming it was Pittman Jr. who initiated the incident. Uh huh. No, really, this is my “I believe you” face; it just looks like my “you’re full of shit” face. Another attacker was allegedly stabbed in his own garage. Then the first guy packed up and moved, only to have his house burned down the next day. This is getting creepy.

And, of course, the two young men are finding it difficult to secure legal representation, the local lawyers being too homophobic themselves chicken-shit concerned with their image in the community to take on a “gay case.”

There’s more to the story, too. Apparently the elder Pittman had been arrested earlier in the day for the theft of $10,000 related to his imminent divorce from the woman whose presence in his life was the primary reason he hadn’t given in to the raving lunatic side of his personality earlier. This is the preacher, remember. OK… I’ll grant that you can use a selective reading of Leviticus and Deuteronomy to justify your homophobia. But I’m pretty sure I recall something about stone-casting, and I’m virtually certain that stealing and bearing false witness show up among the “shalt nots.” Those Old Testament dudes weren’t very liberal about divorce, either, if I recall correctly.

The failures of Pittman senior as father, minister, (apparently husband)—indeed as person are too manifold to enumerate. I’m not optimistic, of course, but there’s an outside chance he might yet turn out to be someone who could be mentioned in the same breath as Jesus without incurring laughter. Nah, who am I kidding?

Meanwhile, to the east, students at Sequoyah High School in Madisonville, tired of bullying and gay-bashing, attempted to form a Gay-Straight Alliance. According to student Zachary Piccione, he spent all spring semester “trying to find a sponsor, someone who would be willing to start one with me. And everyone's thing was that they didn't have time.” If this is true, then Sequoyah High School has a lot of craven and stupid teachers. They certainly have a bone-headed bully for a principal.

One Maurice Moser seems never to have outgrown his schoolyard bully phase. Trouble is, he’s the principal now. Nathan Carroll, a student who says he’s been bullied since the 6th grade for his sexual orientation and for “acting gay,” met with Moser twice this fall to try again to start an apparently much-needed GSA. He got nowhere, so he started a petition drive, collecting some 150 signatures, a fair number for a school of barely over 1000 students.

If you go to the school’s website, the first thing you see is the mission statement: “Our mission is to provide a safe, educational environment with academic and technical programs that will prepare each student to enter post-secondary institutions and/or the work force upon graduation.” The more perspicacious among you, Gentle Readers, will note the prominence of the word “safe” in the school’s mission. If you’re a little curious, you might also check out the Academics/Faculty page, where you’ll find this: “Every student should have an environment that is safe and conducive to learning.” Trouble is, apparently nobody at the school really believes that. (Given the fact that the Academics/Faculty page also says that “Faculty, students, and community support is necessary to accomplish the school's mission,” I’m guessing their mission doesn’t have much to do with teaching English grammar, either.)

Anyway, there was apparently an anti-gay group that wanted to stop the formation of the GSA. (As if they had any legitimate reason to prevent the club from forming.) A principal with a spine would tell the haters to go fuck themselves (perhaps not in precisely those words), allow the GSA to get started, and go back to trying to figure out the difference between singular and plural nouns. Not Moser. He outlawed any discussion of the proposed group by supporters or opponents (he being an equal opportunity civil rights violator), thereby ensuring that the GSA would not be formed while cravenly pretending to be even-handed. In Carroll’s words, Moser “said anything going pro or against GSA... if any petition is found, it is to be torn up and thrown away. Any student caught with it will be sent to his office for further punishment.”

Moser, of course, ducked press inquiries, passing the buck to the Director of Schools, Mike Lowry, who (surprise of surprises) issued a mealy-mouthed and ungrammatical diversion from the issue at hand and an avowal that students who follow the rules (what rules didn’t these follow?) will be treated “fairly and equally,” which one presumes is sort of like “separate but equal” for the 21st century.

Ah, but Gentle Reader, we’re not done yet. It seems that a young man named Chris Sigler wore a shirt on Tuesday that said “GSA: We’ve Got Your Back.” Oh, the humanity! According to the ACLU, here’s what happened next:

A teacher ordered Sigler to cover up the shirt in the future. Sigler, knowing he had a right to wear the shirt, wore it again Friday, and resisted an order to remove the shirt. Sigler says that Moser then ordered all students out of the classroom, except for Sigler’s sister Jessica, who refused to leave. According to both students, Moser then grabbed Sigler’s arm, shoved him, and chest-bumped him repeatedly while asking “Who’s the big man now?” [Are you freaking kidding me? The guy ought to be fired for being a bad pop culture cliché, if nothing else.] Sigler’s mother reported that when she arrived at the school, she saw her son seated in a desk with Moser leaning over him and shouting in Sigler’s face.

True, we haven’t heard Moser’s side of the story, but I have this nagging feeling that an authoritarian homophobe (and I’m pretty confident of both of those descriptors) probably doesn’t have a lot of defense. Denial, maybe. Bluster, perhaps. Excuse? Doesn’t seem possible, does it?

We’ve been acculturated into keeping our respective heads down. Jerry Pittman Jr. may not have had a choice, but at least he filed charges. Chris Sigler didn’t duck at all. This may or may not have been “his fight”: the article doesn’t say whether he’s gay or straight. I like that. Because I don’t care, and I really couldn’t care less about anyone who does. Chris, when you graduate, you’re welcome in my class.