Yet Another High School Show Shut Down by Morons

A little over a week ago, Curmie wrote about the supression of the a production of Paula Vogel’s Indecent by the censorious asshats at the Douglas Anderson School of the Arts in Jacksonville, Florida. That was bad enough; this is worse. 

First, this one is personal. Curmie found out about it from a Facebook post by his nephew, an alum of the school in question, Cardinal High School in Middlefield, Ohio. Curmie’s Beloved Spouse, sister-in-law, brother-in-law, niece, and nephew all worked on shows at Cardinal in one or more capacities: on stage, on tech crews, and/or in the pit orchestra for musicals. 

So that’s one thing that’s especially irritating. The other is that the show that’s been cancelled is The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee, which may not be as innocuous as Kismet, but it’s pretty close. The post on the Curtain 440 Facebook page describes the play like this:

The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee is… sweet, moving, hilarious, and yes, sometimes irreverent, it shows all types of kids and their imperfect lives. It shows that no matter how much someone appears to have it together, they are going through struggles just like you. It shows teamwork, competition, friendship, puberty, growing up, conflict, working with people who are not like you—things that EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US has gone through.

A scene from the Off-Broadway production.

That pretty well sums it up. When Curmie was teaching, he would see dozens of résumés each year from high school or junior college students auditioning for admission into and scholarships to the university program in which Curmie taught and directed. 

 For the last decade or so, i.e., since the musical became available for amateur productions, Curmie would guess that, as a conservative estimate, 15-20% of those kids had worked on a production of Putnam County. The show is a staple of both high school and community theatres across the country: as recently as a couple of years ago, it was the fourth most produced musical in American high schools. It’s hardly an unknown commodity. (And a 15-second Google search would alert you to potential problem areas.) 

Curmie’s university did a production as part of our summer season a few years back. A lot of people in town came, brought their kids, and really enjoyed it. We did not, by the way, do the alternate version to the “erection song” (“Chip’s Lament”). Didn’t matter: there were no protests, no stomping out of the show, no letters to the editor. This is in a place represented in Congress by Louie Gohmert, remember: not exactly the most liberal community on the planet. 

Ah, but the self-appointed Guardians of All Things Decent in northeastern Ohio have declared, without any clarification of terms, that the play is “not family friendly” because of the (now bowdlerized) “Chip’s Lament,” a brief scene in which Jesus shows up to say He doesn’t concern himself with spelling bees, and (OMG!) a student’s having two dads. 

Of course, despite the fact that the production team say they were told that the “two dads” business was a cause for concern, Superintendent Jack Cunningham, who is probably the idiot who said that but is also aware that being outed as a homophobe is probably not in his best interest, denies the allegation. That’s because he’s a superintendent, and superintendents are, even more than principals, more interested in covering their asses than in telling the truth. 

Side note: one of Curmie’s most treasured memories from teaching Theatre Appreciation to non-majors came in the discussion of a production of John Guare’s Six Degrees of Separation. There were two guys in the back of the classroom who purported to be thoroughly grossed out by an inter-racial kiss between two men. Curmie wondered aloud why it’s okay to show axe murders on stage but not an expression of affection. 

Then, in a moment of inspiration, he looked directly at the two junior high refugees and said “maybe it’s because you know you’re not an axe murderer.” Curmie is pleased to note that although neither of those young men understood the barb, a woman in the front row nearly exploded, trying to control her laughter. 

Revenons à nos moutons… there are a lot of reasons why this action by the Cardinal board was, shall we shall, ill-considered. (Curmie resists, for the moment, at least, language invoking bovine fecal matter.) 

First, as you have no doubt already concluded, Gentle Reader, the play wouldn’t be performed so frequently in so many different places if it couldn’t attract audiences of all descriptions… and if it hadn’t passed the scrutiny of literally hundreds of different school administrations and community theatre boards. One wonders what all those other folks missed that the Acme Vulgarity Detector Kit at Cardinal caught. 

And trust me, Jack, ol’ boy, if you stroll through the hallways of the school during the changeover between classes, Curmie will absolutely guarantee that you’ll hear far more “vulgar language” than anything in Putnam County. Of course, that would require a modest attempt to understand what life in a high school is actually like, and we can’t have that, can we? 

Second, if what you mean by “family friendly” is that it might not be appropriate for 6-year-olds, fine. So make it the equivalent of a PG-13 movie, which is precisely what the production team was doing in requiring parental approval for junior high kids to see their preview. Cunningham sniffs that (undefined) “vulgarity” made the show “not suitable for our pre-teen and teenage students in an educational setting.” Erm… Jack… Sweetie… it’s a high school play;  there are no pre-teen students in your high school. Just sayin’. 

And the subsequent plaint that only productions which “community members of all ages may enjoy without adult supervision” should be allowed is a). transcendent in its stupidity (you really want to have toddlers determine your season?), and b). absolutely guaranteed to be applied capriciously. 

Once again, the school had at least de facto if not explicitly signed off on the show. You don’t get rehearsal scripts or scores to a musical until you’ve paid the royalties, so there was a check written for probably well into four figures. Theatre directors in high schools can’t just do that; it takes administrative approval. 

Oh… wait… Cunningham himself signed off on the check! Well, glory be! Tie me to an anthill and smear my belly with jam! Who’da thunk it? Ah, but, you see, the production team didn’t do what no one had ever expected them to do before and submit a script for board approval. That, you see, means it’s their fault the principal and the superintendent didn’t do their jobs. 

By the way, the parents of all students involved in the production met with the production team early on. The director and her staff explained that they were using the alternate version of the one song, and explained the context of other potential areas of concern. None of the parents pulled their kids from the show. In other words, as with the cancelled production of Indecent, the people most concerned with the welfare of the students—their parents—had no issues, or at least not enough to prevent their sons and daughters from active participation. 

Of course, the all-too-familiar “the board has received complaints” line demonstrates the ubiquitous cowardice of censors, in this case both the anonymous (of course!) complainants and the board themselves. As for the former, there’s a simple solution: don’t go. As for the latter: get a life. 

Third, there is something very important but easily overlooked by people outside the profession. The majority of the characters in this show are adolescents, meaning that high school actors a). understand them better, and b). don’t have to “take age” either in their acting or their physical appearance. That makes for both a better production and better development of young actors. 

Fourth, if you’re going to shut down a show, the time to do it is before students and faculty have put in literally thousands of person-hours in rehearsal and the shops: they’re a month into rehearsals. You know, like a good time might have been before you signed the scripts and royalties check? It would also be a more sound business practice to have done so before spending big money on the production: Curmie’s guess is that scenery construction has already begun. Even if that isn’t the case (one of the show’s attractions is that it doesn’t require much of a set), you’re unlikely to get your full royalty payment back, and you have a 0% chance on the rental fees for scripts and scores. 

Finally, this year’s seniors have already lost one show to COVID (after weeks of rehearsal). That may have been unavoidable. Taking away yet another show, for reasons that smack more of a socio-political agenda than of any legitimate concern for the welfare of students or their families: this is definitely not unavoidable. 

There is an email-writing campaign, by the way. Curmie will probably abstain, lest he offend the tender sensibilities of the school board by engaging in vulgarities to describe the extent of their stupidity and hypocrisy. If you are interested and can channel your frustration a little better than Curmie suspects he’s capable of at the moment, click here for info. 

Curmie has made the point repeatedly in the past that if you look hard enough, the chances are really good that you’ll find something objectionable in virtually any play ever written. And this is one of the tamer shows out there, especially if the alternate version of that one song is used.  Idiots on school boards are everywhere.  They will come after your next show, whatever it is, just to show that they can.  They, like all the other opponents of free expression Curmie has talked about of late, must be stopped.

From Curmie’s perspective, Superintendent Jack Cunningham and the school board members are, in no particular order, authoritarian, censorious, stupid, craven, lazy, and mendacious. Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, did you enjoy the play? 

Above all, The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee does not deserve to be censored just because a couple of school board members need more bran in their diet.

TWO UPDATES: 

Rachel Sheinkin, who won a Tony Award for the book to the show is now on record, saying in an email to assistant director Mandi Matchinga, “Specific words are easy to change to match the community’s needs. It sounds like this could be a mask for other issues and that by now you’ve moved on to considering other shows. But know that you and your students have our sympathy and support.”

And there’s now a Change.org petition which you are more than welcome to sign, Gentle Reader.

ANOTHER UPDATE: The school board has reversed their decision!  Thanks to everyone who signed the petition or otherwise supported the cause!  Taking this episode nationwide had to have made a difference.  People like this aren’t going to admit they’re wrong unless the embarrassment reaches an unendurable level.  Apparently, it did.