Of Tails and Tales

Abe and Gene

   

When the Trumpian apparatchiks Republican members of the House of Representatives declared last month that there would be no “calendar days” for the remainder of the first session of the 119^th Congress, GOP pols proceeded as if the obvious falsehood was simply business as usual.  And the allegedly leftie press was deafeningly silent.

The same thing happened more recently when thousands of immigrants were declared “dead” in a maneuver apparently initiated by Kristi Noem and her gaggle of sadists despite the fact that these people were very much alive.  There are plenty of other examples, but let’s keep this post from turning into War and Peace, shall we, Gentle Reader?

The “calendar days” business was nothing more or less than an act of cowardice: GOP reps didn’t want to have to vote on a resolution to condemn Trump’s idiotic tariffs.  Vote against the tariffs and you’re saying Dear Leader is fallible; vote for them and you’re pissing off a lot of your constituents who saw their nest eggs ravaged by Trumpian incompetence/petulance/malevolence.  Of course, there’s no little evidence that Trump’s billionaire buddies, not to mention his family, were tipped off: “I’m going to impose economy-destroying tariffs, so sell now,” followed by “I’ll backtrack on the tariffs tomorrow; time to buy (at a huge discount).”

The “dead people” canard was simply a deceitful shorthand to allow the Xenophobe-in-Chief to further persecute people named Rodriguez or Argüello or something similar.  There’s mounting evidence, by the way, that not only were many of the victims of this purge in the country legally, but some are actually citizens. 

Curmie acknowledges here that Democrats aren’t above using similar tactics to the calendar charade, and that there’s a legitimate chance that some of those folks described in news stories simply as “immigrants” are in the country illegally.  He’ll grant, too, that some increases in tariffs might be appropriate if handled with moderation, discretion, and forethought (none of which were present in 47’s puerile recklessness).  Finally, he stipulates that the Trump administration didn’t invent bureaucratic incompetence; they merely raised it to an art form. 

Ultimately, though, that doesn’t change the narrative.  Trump and his minions simply lied unabashedly, and the minions were too stupid, too sycophantic, and/or too cowardly to do anything but cheerfully admire their emperor’s fabulous but non-existent new wardrobe.

Curmie, being Curmie, immediately thought of one of his favorite riddles, sometimes attributed to Abraham Lincoln.  (Yes, he’s cited it here before.)  Q: How many legs does a dog have if you call a tail a leg?  A: Four.  Calling a tail a leg doesn’t make it one. 

Similarly, calling a several-month-long period less than a calendar day doesn’t make it so, and declaring someone dead doesn’t mean they aren’t alive and well.  Indeed, such instances are not merely contrary to reality, they’re so obviously mendacious bullshit that even suggesting they might be something other than that is an insult to the American citizenry.

But the question about dogs’ legs also reminded Curmie, who is (or was) a theatre historian with a particular interest in the Theatre of the Absurd, of one of his favorite scenes from Eugène Ionesco’s Rhinoceros.  In Act I of that play, the Logician gives an example of a syllogism: All cats have four paws.  His companion’s dog has four paws; therefore, that dog is a cat.  Moreover, since all cats are mortal and Socrates is dead, Socrates was also a cat.

It doesn’t take an enormous imagination to get from this nonsense to something more contemporary: Some Social Security recipients are retirees.  Some Social Security recipients are five years old.  Therefore, five-year-olds are receiving retirement benefits.  Elon and Baby Bobby had better be looking over their shoulders; the Logician is coming for their jobs.

Of course, Rhinoceros is a play about the dangers of unthinking conformity, specifically with respect to the rise of fascism, and submission to, if not actual collaboration with, its evils.  The Logician is apparently a respected professional with an important position.  He, like, well, virtually any member of the MAGA hierarchy, is also either a pompous moron or a liar (or both).  The townspeople, all of whom except our hero, Berenger, turn into rhinos by the end of the third act, are pretty much parallel to our countrymen and -women in the red caps: lumbering, stupid, and enormously destructive.

They, or at least most of them, weren’t always that way.  They just found it easier, perhaps safer, to just go along, even at the expense of individuality.  Maybe it was fear; maybe it was just the allure of fitting in, irrespective of fitting in to what.  But the herd mentality, whatever its source, is directly contrary to the American spirit.  It’s more than a little scary.  So far, however, Curmie has been able to echo Berenger’s most famous line, “Je ne capitule pas!” 

As we await the latest illegal, immoral, and downright idiotic action of the Commissariat of Trumpistan, Curmie would like to take one moment to whisper to the MAGA faithful that Abe and Gene would like a word.